


Love I Need

by Space_gays_that_arent_in_space



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Porn, M/M, Past Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:21:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25796560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Space_gays_that_arent_in_space/pseuds/Space_gays_that_arent_in_space
Summary: He thought about how it had already been half a year since they had broken up. It hurt to think about, hurt to realize that the one person he had ever loved-the person he had loved foryearswouldn’t be coming back, but it was the way things needed to be. They couldn’t handle long distance, Kenma was sure of it and it was easier to live with that sense of control than it was to leave things to chance, even if that had always been Hinata’s modus operandi. He finished his vodka punch off quickly, replacing it with another drink that left his insides feeling like they had turned into molten lava.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 7
Kudos: 25





	Love I Need

**Author's Note:**

> First attempt at KuroKen, hope this goes well lmao

This wasn’t his scene at all, it was too loud, too close, too hot, too _everything_ and yet Kenma still found himself standing in the middle of a club full of grinding bodies and music. This would have been His scene more than Kenma’s. His brightness would’ve been enough to make him comfortable, calm, maybe even have a little bit of fun, instead he was clinging to the bar and trying to get a drink and loosen up. After waving a wad of bills in the air to get the bartender’s attention though, Kenma had a vodka punch in hand and a nice buzz running through his system. 

He thought about how it had already been half a year since they had broken up. It hurt to think about, hurt to realize that the one person he had ever loved-the person he had loved for _years_ wouldn’t be coming back, but it was the way things needed to be. They couldn’t handle long distance, Kenma was sure of it and it was easier to live with that sense of control than it was to leave things to chance, even if that had always been Hinata’s modus operandi. He finished his vodka punch off quickly, replacing it with another drink that left his insides feeling like they had turned into molten lava. 

He stared out at the crowd, some of them couples, moving against one another like it was the thing they had been built to do. He was jealous, angry even, that he couldn’t have that. Not anymore. Kenma went on like that, going through the stages of grief as he drank his way into ruddy cheeks and slight imbalance. He really engaged that imbalance when he moved to the dance floor, trying to move at the same ever-consistent pace as those in the crowd, though it was harder than expected. 

Suddenly though, there was someone behind him, the body was familiar, of course it was. He had known that sturdy chest and ridiculous frame since he was a kid, though lately it seemed like things between them were more tense than they had been when they were kids. Kenma turned, only to be met with familiarly wild bedhead and equally wild smile. 

Kuroo seemed to be almost equally as drunk as Kenma if the rouge on his cheeks was anything to go by. When the air settled between them, he noticed that he seemed almost more relaxed than usual. In the past seven years, Kuroo had distinctly distanced himself from Kenma emotionally, ever since he and Hinata had gotten together in his third year that doubled as Hinata’s second. Kenma thought it was because of school, college was tough and Kuroo couldn’t spend all of his time hanging out with him anymore, it just wasn’t reasonable, but slowly, he found himself getting busier as well. First with the team, being the captain after Kuroo had left was significantly more difficult than he would’ve ever realized, then deciding on what to do with his life, and, of course, being with Hinata. Time always seemed to move faster when they were together, and with Kuroo no longer reaching out, it sometimes felt like Hinata really was the only one he had left, though that wasn’t such a terrible fate, not when Kenma took to Hinata’s brightness like a cat to the warmth of the summer sun. 

Of course, that wasn’t to say that he and Kuroo didn’t still hang out, if anything, now that they were adults, they spent quite a lot of time together once again, the only problem was the walls Kuroo had seemingly built up in the years between then and now. His eyes were always hard, like he was keeping a secret, his smile was slightly too tense, and his hands seemed to flex whenever Kenma stared at him for too long. He was always on his guard around him, and that, in turn, put Kenma on his own. If someone had told him years ago that Kuroo would drain the same energy that everyone else did when they got together, he would have scoffed. Now, though, he had to prepare himself before any of their meetings, just to be sure that he didn’t overextend his stamina. 

Now though, Kuroo seemed almost like his old self, the one from when they were teenagers, the one he told his feelings for Hinata to, the one who convinced him to keep playing volleyball, _his_ Kuroo. The feeling was bittersweet, though that was how everything that reminded him of the past felt. It could never be totally good because it had to be tainted. Whether it be by the memories he had made with Hinata or his own loneliness, Kenma hadn’t _truly_ enjoyed anything since before the break up, though that was the price he had to pay. Seven years of pure happiness for an eternity of suffering. 

He stared up at him for a moment longer, focusing on the way his gold eyes softened for him. He had been the first one to hear about his breakup with Hinata, he had to be. Even if there was a man-made gap between them, Kenma couldn’t keep secrets from his best friend. 

He took a sip of his drink, waiting for Kuroo to say something. 

” _Kenma, I didn’t expect you to a place like this, have you suddenly become a social butterfly or something_ ” 

Kuroo’s smile split into a grin, easy and familiar even if it was full of mirth and mischief. Kenma, as per their routine, simply rolled his eyes. Though, rather than turning to his phone, he presented himself with his drink and finished it off. He looked surprised then, as if Kenma consuming something that wasn’t beer was totally unheard of. 

” _I take it you come here a lot then, Kuroo-san_ ” 

” _I guess, plenty of lovely ladies and gentlemen that come here on the weekends ready to take home, yanno?_ ” 

There was something hanging in the air after Kuroo said that, something unspoken and utterly obvious that Kuroo had done. It was on purpose, it had to be on purpose because Kenma knew he wasn’t stupid enough to say something like that without any consideration. He was _trying_ to make Kenma jealous, or maybe he was trying to see how deep his wound ran. It had only been six months, six months after almost a decade together. The wound was fresh as it had been the day that Kenma ended things, and Kuroo certainly knew that, even if there were things about Kenma he didn’t know anymore. He had never been the type to get over things easily, he stewed over them, ran the thoughts through his head until they became imprinted into his mind because that was how he dealt with things. Meaning, no matter what he was doing, he was being completely deliberate in his actions and it made Kenma’s eye twitch. He wanted another drink-No, he was going to get another drink. 

He stumbled, taking a step toward the bar and away from the dance floor. Kuroo followed as if he had been invited, though Kenma knew Kuroo would follow him without the need for a verbal invitation because they hadn’t needed to be openly invited to anything the other did since Kenma’s ninth birthday party that he notedly didn’t want. 

Kuroo helped him keep his balance, and the two of them shared something of an expensive bottle of whiskey because Kenma ‘ _couldn’t be the sort of rich guy who’d shell out tons’a cash on games and not a dime of that great money on great liquor!_ ’. The thing was, Kenma hadn’t spent any money on the whiskey because Kuroo had paid for it. Even with his ranting and raving about Kenma’s lack of spending being sure to keep him on that very same track. 

The usual small talk that their drinking was often muddled by was discarded, instead Kuroo acted like his old self. He joked and laughed, boasted about the different career feats he’d made. It made Kenma feel warm inside, safe, even, just like it had when they were younger. He missed it almost, missed when Kuroo would come over to play video games and practice volleyball, missed their practices together in high school, he missed _him_. Kuroo turned, catching the way Kenma stared and smiling in his direction. 

” _Dance with me_ ” 

Kuroo’s expression was gentle, though it was obvious he wouldn’t be taking no for an answer. As suddenly as he had suggested dancing, Kuroo was pulling him on to the dance floor, and Kenma didn’t have the strength or control over his body to do anything but go along with it. 

Kuroo had Kenma dancing close to him, citing Kenma’s lack of dancing skill as the reason for them to dance as a pair, but as they stayed on the floor, he realized the way that they danced _changed_. Kuroo’s hands had started at his back, guiding his movement in an entirely innocent way, then they moved down, the center of his back now, trying to get Kenma to move more fluidly with the song that was playing, some sort of bubble gum pop. All of the music that played was fine, entirely innocent, until it wasn’t. Until a song started playing and the lights started flashing rather than drifting into different colors like they had been before. This song was sexual, explicit and filthy in its lyrics. Kenma wasn’t flustered by it, not exactly, more so, he was flustered by the fact that Kuroo’s hands had moved down to his waist. They were still guiding him, though now it was more sensual, and suddenly Kenma was being held closer to him than before. 

Distantly, he wondered if maybe this wasn’t the right thing to do, if he should go sit down and get himself a glass of water. Then, he remembered his purpose in coming to this club tonight. He had _wanted_ to find someone to take home, a ‘rebound’ as it were. If Kuroo happened to be that rebound, then he would simply be getting a new look at Kenma’s bedroom. It wouldn’t hurt, trying to move on from Hinata, he seemed happy in Brazil, and Kenma wanted to be happy too. 

He pressed against Kuroo then, moving his hips in the way they were being guided to, feeling the way that his hands gripped at him almost possessively. It was nice, feeling wanted like this. They danced like that for a long while, until sweat was dripping from both of their foreheads and they had gotten each other ridiculously hard from exclusively over the pants grinding. Kenma knew this was his chance, so, gently, he leaned up to Kuroo’s ear and invited him to his place. 

Kuroo had come with a driver, and Kenma didn’t mind the idea of picking up his car in the morning, leaving the two of them dry humping in the backseat of Kuroo’s car like teenagers. The drive was smooth, the driver didn’t say anything as they practically inhaled each other’s faces, though Kenma couldn’t be sure if he even noticed them. 

Kuroo’s kisses were almost indescribable, but distinctly unlike Hinata’s. They were warm, but not in the way that his had been. A bonfire vs gentle summer rain or even a warm summer night. Kuroo took charge, totally and completely filling Kenma’s senses in a way that made him feel electrified. It was hard to keep his hands off of him as they got to Kenma’s place, the walk to the front door feeling like an olympic sport. Somehow he managed though, and they got all the way up to Kenma’s bedroom. The place was a mess, clothes and manga strewn about on the ground, a neat stack of games sat on his bedside table as well as a handheld console right beside it. Those didn’t matter now though, what mattered was Kuroo pulling off his jeans and staring at him like he was a meal to be eaten. 

Kenma watched him with waiting, observant eyes, he wanted to see his next move. That next move seemed to be pulling out his dick and telling Kenma to suck it. He was surprised, but obliged, feeling the way his blankets shifted beneath his knees as his left hand took hold of Kuroo’s waist. With his right, he took his dick into his hand, giving the head a few kisses. Kuroo seemed to like it, already letting his eyes fall shut before Kenma could even take the head into his mouth. 

Slowly, he gave his head an experimental bob, tongue laying flat and nearly falling out of his mouth. Kuroo gave a groan, and Kenma bobbed again. Slowly, they hit a rhythm, and Kenma had managed to get all the way down to the base. Kuroo was loud then, letting out groans and hums whenever Kenma did just about anything he liked. It felt good, that sort of praise, for a moment, he tried to imagine this was Hinata he was blowing. His dick twitched a little at the thought, though it gave him a chill. It was odd, doing something like that, and even more so counterproductive. This night with Kuroo was supposed to be his way of getting over Hinata, not making his feelings worse. Before he could further analyze and self deprecate, Kuroo was pushing his head off of his dick, muttering something about not wanting to cum yet. 

Kenma wiped the combination of saliva and precum from his chin, giving Kuroo a single nod. 

” _The lube is in the right drawer._ ” 

In the time that Kuroo retrieved the lube, Kenma had pulled off his shirt and boxers, leaving him totally naked. His partner was, on the other hand, mostly clothed, save for his cock that was hanging out, rock hard and dripping with precum. He laid back, rolling on to his stomach and presenting himself to Kuroo. 

He seemed to relish in prepping Kenma, and he wouldn’t deny that it felt good. Each crook of his long fingers was enough to make him shiver, paired with the gentle kisses and bites being placed against his shoulder, he couldn’t help but wonder what Kuroo would feel like inside. He was quieter, instead of letting out loud groans and subtle whines, Kenma was mostly made up of sighs into his blanket and gripped sheets. 

It was obvious that neither of them could take much more teasing, it was time, and Kuroo solidified that by grabbing the condoms from the bedside drawer. Kenma waited in anticipation, only to be met with the tip of his dick already pressing against his gaping hole. His mouth dropped open, a silent whine coming out as he was stretched open. 

Kuroo left him with a long moment to settle, hands rubbing at his hips and giving those same cool-warm kisses. Then, he started moving. It felt good, better than good. Kenma hadn’t had sex in almost 8 months, and for that first time in 8 months to be bottoming was an experience that left him surprisingly sensitive. Of course, in that time he had masturbated, but touching himself could never really compare to being touched by someone else, and that was proved by Kuroo. Kuroo who had taken a fist to his hair, which had fallen out of the bun it had been in as long ago as in the car, and fucked him recklessly. 

Kenma pressed his face further into his blanket, feeling as Kuroo kept brushing against his prostate but never quite _hit_ it. He could feel the saliva pooling in his mouth and just barely managed to spit out. 

” _To the right-yeah-yeah there-_ ” 

That small phrase though, opened Pandora’s box for Kenma’s vow of silence. As quiet as he was during sex, he always found himself get louder the closer he came to cumming, leaving him a mewling, whining mess when Kuroo finally found his prostate and Kenma started jerking himself off. 

Rather than the quiet sounds of lewd slapping and heavy breathing, his room was filled with loud keens and whines as well as the low chant of _Kuroo-san_ over and over again. He couldn’t help it, he felt too good, and it wasn’t much longer until Kenma was cumming right on to the blanket that had served as his gag for the entire duration of this escapade. Kuroo came after a few more thrusts, though it was obvious that he had been holding it together for Kenma’s sake. Though he was wearing a condom, Kenma couldn’t help but twitch when he felt Kuroo cumming. 

The cleanup was quiet and Kenma offered to let Kuroo stay the night since it was about 4 am before going off to the master bathroom to shower. Upon his return, Kenma saw that Kuroo was out cold. He climbed beneath the blankets beside him, nuzzling into a pillow. He hated that he caught a whiff of _that_ shampoo because he knew that his dreams would hurt more than they had when he slept on his own side. 

In the morning, Kenma awoke with an ache that ran from his skull all the way to his hips. Kuroo was half awake, seemingly waiting for Kenma. He had something to say, he could see it on his face 

Kenma sat up, rubbing his eyes and giving him a _what_ that was intercut with a yawn. 

Kuroo looked at him, his eyes filling with that same softness from the night before. 

” _Kenma...I just….I wanted to tell you that...I’ve-I’ve liked-no, loved you since high school.._ ” 

Kenma felt his stomach curl then, and the faint nausea from his hangover turn into something that left him scared he’d end up with more than cum and sweat on his sheets. He had known this, he had known since the day he told Kuroo that he and Hinata were going out. He hoped that now that they were adults, it would’ve gone away, but it hadn’t, and he had just used Kuroo’s feelings against him. 

He sat there for a long moment, staring with his mouth agape, and all he could come up with was: 

” _I know_ ” 

He was sure that the look on his face said everything that he couldn’t. 

” _I’m still in love with Hinata_ ” 

” _I’m sorry_ ” 

” _If I had known I wouldn’t have done this_ ” 

” _Please don’t hate me_ ” 

” _You’re my best friend_

Instead, Kenma sat there silently, watching as Kuroo pulled his clothes on and left and praying that he hadn’t lost the most important friend he had.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi kudos, comments, etc are greatly appreciated and there is a 99% chance that if you comment I'll reply.
> 
> @tamyura_on twt  
> @porcelain_babies on insta


End file.
